Good Habits for a Better Life: Why It’s Hard to Change and How to Do It
- Andrew & Stephanie
- Jan 12
- 5 min read
Updated: Feb 8
Changing habits can often feel like climbing a steep mountain. Many people strive for personal growth or want to improve their health, but breaking old habits and forming good habits can be overwhelming. Understanding the science and psychology behind habit formation is crucial for anyone looking to make lasting changes in their daily lives. This blog post explores why breaking old habits is challenging, how to do it, and the necessary steps to build positive new routines.
Why Changing Old Habits Is So Hard
If you're struggling to break old habits, you're not alone. Many individuals encounter this difficulty, even when they know the change would be beneficial. But why is it so hard? The answer lies in the science of how habits are created and function in our brains.
Did you know that our brains are built to form habits in order to conserve energy? Repeatedly performing an action strengthens neural pathways, making it easier for us to default to that action. This explains why changing a habit requires rewiring these pathways, which takes time and effort.
Regular routines offer a feeling of comfort and safety. When faced with change, we tend to rely on what we're used to, creating a mental block against accepting new experiences. This comfort zone seems secure, even if it limits our development. Stepping outside this zone can lead to discomfort or anxiety, making change seem more daunting than it actually is.
Our brains are naturally inclined to favour short-term rewards. Established habits, like using comfort food to alleviate stress, usually provide instant satisfaction. On the other hand, new habits, such as exercising or adopting a healthier diet, offer benefits that might take weeks or months to become apparent.

Additionally, habits are frequently linked to particular cues, such as the aroma of coffee triggering a craving for a biscuit. These triggers can make it particularly challenging to break a habit.
Lastly, emotional needs often tie us to ingrained habits. Familiar routines can help us cope with stress or boredom. For instance, someone might watch television to distract themselves after a tough day, making it difficult to break the habit without addressing the underlying emotions.
How to Change Old Habits
To break free from old habits, begin by recognising the habit loop: a cue, a routine, and a reward. Here's a relatable example:
Cue: You sit down on the couch after dinner.
Routine: You reach for a chocolate bar.
Reward: The sweet taste satisfies your craving and alleviates your stress.
By identifying this loop, you can start to change your behaviour.
Set specific, actionable goals to replace old habits with new ones. Instead of a vague goal like “I want to snack less,” aim for something clear, such as “I will substitute my chocolate with a piece of fruit after dinner.”
Breaking the automatic link between cue and habit is crucial. One effective technique is to create a new routine that responds to the same cue. For instance, when you sit on the couch, swap grabbing chocolate for brewing a cup of herbal tea, which can also be comforting. The aim is not to remove the reward but to discover a healthier or more constructive option.
Mindfulness is an effective technique that involves being completely present and aware of the current moment. When you sense that you're on the verge of slipping back into an old habit, take a moment to pause, breathe, and assess your feelings. This short break enables you to make a conscious choice instead of automatically reverting to the old habit. With time, consistently practising mindfulness can help you make better decisions, particularly when the temptation to revert to an old habit is strong.
Your environment significantly influences your habits. Consider this: when unhealthy snacks are within easy reach, you often grab them without much thought. However, if healthier options are more visible and accessible, you're inclined to choose them. Instead of placing chips or chocolate on the kitchen counter, put a bowl of fruit or some nuts in a convenient location. If they're in sight, you're more likely to select them when you're hungry.

Surrounding yourself with supportive people is also vital. Share your goals with friends or family members who can motivate and encourage you. Studies show that having an accountability partner increases the likelihood of successfully changing a behaviour.
Visualising your success and anticipating challenges can enhance your chances of breaking old habits. Research suggests that those who plan for obstacles are more likely to succeed in forming new habits.
How to Create Good Habits
Research indicates that starting with small, simple changes is more effective. For instance, aiming to drink one extra glass of water each day can feel less daunting than trying to overhaul your entire diet all at once.
A well-known method is habit stacking, which connects a new habit to an established one. For example, if you aim to increase your water intake, you can associate it with your morning routine of brushing your teeth. Once you've brushed your teeth, drink a glass of water.
Dopamine, the neurotransmitter linked to the brain's reward system, is essential in establishing new habits. When a new action is successfully completed, dopamine is released, strengthening the behaviour. This process gradually encourages the repetition of the action, aiding in the development of a long-lasting habit.
Patience is crucial. Research indicates that forming a new habit typically takes around 66 days. Being consistent is more vital than being perfect.
Be flexible with your strategies. Not every plan will work out perfectly on the first try, and that’s perfectly okay. Adaptability helps you discover the best methods for habit-building that suit you.

Key takeaways
Changing old habits is undoubtedly challenging due to factors related to brain function, emotional attachments, and immediate rewards. However, breaking these habits and establishing new ones is achievable with the right mindset and strategies.
By recognising your habit loops, setting clear intentions, practising mindfulness, and creating a supportive environment, you can overcome unproductive patterns. Understanding the science behind habit formation, including the impact of dopamine and effective techniques like habit stacking, empowers you to forge lasting change.
Let's get some practice!
Take a moment to reflect on a habit you would like to change. It’s a wonderful step towards personal growth!
1. Identify the Habit: Think about the specific habit you wish to change. Recognising it is the first step in your journey.
2. Pinpoint the Trigger: Consider what triggers this habit. Understanding the cue that initiates the behaviour can help you become more aware of it.
3. Acknowledge the Reward: Reflect on the reward you receive from this habit. What positive feelings or outcomes does it provide you?
4. Think About Changes: Now, take some time to think about ways to modify this routine. What small changes can you implement to create a healthier alternative?
5. Seek Support: If you find it challenging to make these changes on your own, please don’t hesitate to reach out for help. A coach, like myself, would be more than happy to support you on this journey!